Sand Castle: Chapter 13

April 2014

The next September I'm going into something new, something unknown, and I am a little frightened. I'm frightened by how everything in my life is happening fast. In February, I sent a video to eight educational institutions in New York City, and a week later, I was informed that I had successfully passed the audition at two universities. I had a chance to choose where to continue my education, and as Tom advised me, I chose the City University of New York. He said CUNY is a better place for studying than the other college where I was accepted. And that's not all. Last month, the real estate agency sold my grandparents' house and vineyard for a much better price than I had expected. Now I don't need to worry about money until my graduation.

And Tom finally has what he's been dreaming about his whole life: a contract for recording an album. From the record label, they paid him in advance, and he doesn't need to work in his parents' restaurant anymore to pay his rent and bills. He can afford a better place for living and a place where he has enough room for his piano.

He is already in the studio with the guys from his band, and he started with a recording of his first album. In his last email, he tried to explain to me how the music industry works, and the big expectations the people from his record label have for his album. He has some kind of freedom because he has signed with an independent record label, but they still have high hopes, and I understand the heavy load he is carrying upon his shoulders.

In my opinion, Tom has everything for success: an enormous talent, an incredible voice, breathtaking songs, a fantastic band… I believe in him unconditionally. Now all he needs is luck and a good promotion of his album.

One day, I can imagine him performing in huge arenas and music festivals around the world in front of thousands of people. At his gigs will come hundreds of young, pretty girls, and he'll have millions of fans. That scares me.

Everything that is happening in our lives affects us, and it changes who we are. Success changes people. When he becomes famous and successful, will he continue to be this sweet and nice man I know, or will he become more distant to me? Will he continue and then to write me long, funny emails, like he is doing it right now? Or am I going to lose him? Will he be able to preserve his innocence despite all the travelling and the girls around him? For me, it wouldn't be possible to live in a world without Tom, not after I discovered that he exists.

This morning I signed the papers, and I finished the procedure for selling my grandparents' property. Since I returned home, the whole day I've been jumping and screaming of happiness in my room. I can't find words to describe how I'm feeling at this moment. I've already started to count the days until I see Tom again.

"Nina, please turn the music down! Everyone in the radius of five kilometers can hear the noise!" my father was screaming all day.

"All right!"

I turned the music off, and I went downstairs. This was probably the right moment to talk to my parents and tell them I'm going to New York in five months. There is no easy way to tell them that I sold the property. They will be mad at me, and I'm afraid they will never forgive me for the rest of their lives for what I did.

"Do you want the neighbors to call the police?" my father was angry.

"I'm sorry!"

"No, I don't think you're sorry."

"Why are you not at college?" my mother asked.

"Today I've finished with my classes earlier," I lied. Today I didn't show up at college at all.

"That's unusual," my father said.

"It's good that both of you are here because I have something very important to share with you," I said solemnly.

"Now we are scared..." my mother said, with fear in her eyes.

"I'm going to New York this autumn!"

"Is that your big news?" my mother asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, good. I was afraid that you'd say something we wouldn't like to hear," she felt relieved.

"I wouldn't be surprised by anything when it comes from our precious daughter. She is not our little Nina anymore. I think all this started after she returned from Italy. She doesn't want to talk to us and tell us what happened there," my father said.

"Wait, did you say that you're going to New York?" my mother asked.

"Yes, I am. As you already know, I've passed my TOEFL, I've passed the audition, and now I have money for my tuition."

"But how? Where did you find the money?" my father asked.

"I sold the grandparents' house and the vineyard," I said.

"You did what?" my mother was terrified.

"You left me with no other choice."

My mother started to cry.

"Do you see what you have done? You broke your mother's heart. How could you?" my father started to yell at me.

"Who gave you a right to do such a thing? That was my parents' home..." my mother said with a cry.

"Yes, but they left it to me, not to you! I had the right to do what I wanted with the property," I tried to defend myself.

"No, they have left it to you so that one day you'll leave that property to your children, and they will leave it to their children. Do you understand what that means? You are not a child anymore. You are a grown-up woman. That property was a heritage, and it wasn't for sale. They left everything they had to you, because they believed you are a responsible person, and you will take care of the property, but you, you are..." my mother couldn't finish her sentence.

"Are you satisfied now? I'll call my lawyer. That house will stay in the family," my father took the phone, and dialed the number.

"It's too late. Today I signed the papers. There is nothing you can do"

"She is right," my mother wasn't stopping crying. "Leave the phone."

"What was I supposed to do when you didn't want to help me?"

"Can you tell us why do you want to go to New York so much? What do you think you'll find there, and you already don't have here?" my father asked me, yelling.

Love, I hope there I'll find love. In New York, is the guy I love with all my heart. When I'll arrive there, I'll get down on my knees, to beg him to give me a chance to love him, and to try again, to have what we had that week in Italy. I've been hiding my feelings for him for too long, but I can't do it anymore.

"Go to your room! Get out of my sight! I don't want to see you anymore! You are not my daughter," my mother continued to cry.

I knew that this was going to happen, and I feel horrible for what I did, but I had no other choice. I understand my mother's anger, and I'll understand if she'll never forgive me. My parents were attached to that house. For my mother, that place had sentimental value, and it was more than a house. It was a home full of beautiful memories. She was born; she grew up, and she married my father in that house.

I loved that place too, and I will always keep it in my heart. When I was little, I spent every summer at my grandparents' property. Then the summers were magical and careless. I can still feel the smell of the bluebells in the garden, where I was running free all day long, dreaming that I was a princess, and that was my kingdom. That house was my castle. Today, when I signed the papers to sell the property, I felt as if I had lost my little kingdom. But I don't regret selling it. I had to sell it. I don't want to be a queen of a kingdom without a king.