Forever: Chapter 16

On sunny days, Valerie loved to sit for hours at Trafalgar Square. While she was enjoying the warm sun, she was also taking pictures of London and Londoners. Even though the sun in London wasn't as hot as the Californian sun, she loved when the sun rays caressed her face and skin. More than she could ever imagine, she missed Santa Monica. She wasn't missing the hot Californian sun, but she was missing the life she had there. She was missing her family, her friends, for whom she wasn't sure if she should still call them her friends, and most of all, she was missing Timothy. She could live the rest of her life in a place with eternal ice and without the sun, but she could never get used to life without him.

On this hot day by London standards, on Trafalgar Square, next to Valerie, sat a young couple of teenagers in love. They were around sixteen or seventeen, and they reminded her that she was also this happy with Timothy when she was at their age. She smiled, hoping that the young, unknown couple would have more luck in life than she did, and that they would always be this way, happy, carefree, and in love. Because it's not polite to stare at someone, especially not at a couple who are kissing, Valerie turned her head away.

At the same moment, she turned her head in a different direction and saw a woman with two little girls, dressed in pink dresses. One of the girls looked at her, and Valerie smiled at the little girl. She thought how happy she would be if she had a little girl. After she finished with the treatment, Dr. Richards surprised her when he told her that she could still have a child. She just needs to be patient and wait for enough time to pass before she tries to get pregnant. Her doctor was very careful during the surgery and the treatment. He had in mind that Valerie was very young, and like most women, one day she would probably like to become a mother. But Valerie didn't want to just be a mother; she wanted to be a mother of Timothy's child, and now it was too late for that.

A few days after Timothy and Megan went on their first date, Megan posted a picture of them on her social media. She wanted to inform the whole world that they were together. Her move surprised everyone, including Timothy, who wasn't sure if they were a couple or not. The only thing he was sure about was that he didn't want to be in a relationship with her. But his family and friends in Santa Monica were happy for him because he was finally seeing a new girl and he was trying to get over Valerie. And maybe, the only reason why Timothy was with Megan was to make his parents happy.

When Valerie saw the picture of Timothy and Megan together, she couldn't stop crying for days. It wasn't easy for her to see the man she loved with all her existence, with somebody else. She began to be afraid that everything was lost. Until now, maybe there was a small part of her who was still hoping that some miracle would happen and that one day they would get back together.

The pain in her chest now was worse than the pain she had when she left him. But, didn't she want Timothy to forget her and see him happy with somebody else? Isn't that why she ran away to another continent? Then what was the problem? Why wasn't she happy? Maybe now she realized what a mistake she made at the moment she decided not to tell him about her disease, and she ran away to London. Maybe telling the truth is always the right thing to do, at least in most cases. We have only one life to live, and life won't give us a second chance to repair our mistakes.

It's weird how a professional photographer like Valerie could miss a few very important details in Timothy's picture with Megan. His smile was fake. In every picture with Valerie, he was happy, and his smile was natural. In the picture with Megan, he was looking like someone was pointing a gun at his head, forcing him to smile. All she saw was a picture of Timothy with another girl, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he was happy and in love with her, as Megan was claiming below the picture.

Social media are probably one of the cruelest inventions of our time. How many times have we all cried after seeing a picture of our ex on social media with someone new? Or aren't we jealous of our friends from high school who had worse grades than us but now have achieved more in life than we have?

For Timothy, after four months of being in a relationship with Megan, she was just a stranger. He knew nothing about her, and he wasn't trying to get to know her. On every occasion he could, he avoided her. He still didn't know what the color of her eyes were because he couldn't look at her in the eyes. He had no idea what she loved, what kind of food she liked the most, what her favourite movies were, her favourite books, her favourite music bands... But he still remembered everything about Valerie.

Valerie loves salads so much that she could eat nothing but salads every day. In particular, she loves salads with tomatoes and a French salad with potatoes and onion. She also loves pizza and spaghetti. Valerie loves American pancakes, and she could eat them every morning for breakfast. She could never decide what her favorite fruit was: watermelon or pineapple. She is allergic to strawberries. Her guilty pleasures are white chocolate and vanilla pudding. She doesn't like alcohol, but she adores fruit juices.

Valerie loves sunny weather. When the sun shines, she is always happy, and she smiles. She thinks walking in the rain is romantic. She loves to sleep late and to sit all night by a bonfire on a beach. Her favourite city on the planet, where she would like to live one day, is New York. Her favourite color is tile. Valerie loves Jane Austin's books. She's read them all, maybe a hundred times, and "Sense and Sensibility" is her favourite. She believes that the films of the 1990s are the best ever made in the history of cinema, and she cries every time she watches "The Bridges of Madison County."

When Valerie is sleeping on her back, she is snoring, but for Timothy, that is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard in his life. Her snoring was making him peaceful because he knew that she was lying next to him. Every night before falling asleep, Valerie put her arm around him. She was always talking while she was eating, without stopping, and he adored that, even though he couldn't understand half of what she was saying with her mouth full of food. She was always yelling at him when he was too loudly listening to hip-hop. She couldn't understand that rap is modern poetry, but he never got mad at her because he always had to go to the concerts of his favourite hip-hop artists with his friends. She really hates hip-hop. Valerie loves classical music and places with live piano music. And she is adorable when she speaks with her British accent.

The first person who noticed that things between Timothy and Megan were not as they should be was Brian, who came for a weekend to visit his brother in New York. To him, Timothy looked more depressed now than he was before.

"Wow! You have so many books. When you were living in Santa Monica, I never realized that you had all these books."

"These books are not from Santa Monica, I mean, not all of them. I'm buying new books every week."

"That's good for you, Tim!"

"Do you want a beer, Brian?"

"Yeah! Sure!"

He went to his kitchen, took two cold beers from the fridge, and returned to his brother.

"Here you go!"

"Thanks! So, Tim, how are things between you and Megan?"

"Well... you know..."

"No, I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. You don't seem happy to me."

"Things are good. We've discussed moving in together..."

"What? You know this girl for what, ten days, and you already want to live with her?"

"It was her idea, actually."

"Perfect! I hope the word "No" exists in your vocabulary. Moving in with someone is a very big step. Do you know that?"

"Yes, I know, but isn't that what you all wanted from me all these years? To move on with my life..."

"No, you're wrong! What we really want is for you to be happy. I would be the happiest person on the planet if you are ready to move on with your life, but you're not. Tim, this is me, Brian, your older brother. You can't fool me. I know how you feel and who is on your mind when you're with Megan."

"I must accept the fact that Valerie won't come back. She is somewhere else, far away from me, and she is happy without me. I should try to do the same, and I should try to be happy without her..."

"Absolutely, you're right! I completely agree with you! You should be happy because you deserve to be happy. But I don't think that Megan is the right girl for you, and you know it. Please don't get involved with her too much. Stay away from her! Try dating with other girls. Date as many girls as you want, and one day, the right girl will come along. I know that nobody will replace Valerie in your heart. There will never be a girl you will love as much as you loved her, but one day you'll love again. You'll see."

When Brian returned home from New York, he said nothing to his parents about Timothy. He didn't want to give them any worries, and he let them continue to believe that Timothy was happy with the new girl. But when Timothy came home for his parents' thirty-fifth anniversary, it became clear to everyone that with the new girl, he was suffering more than he had before.

"My beautiful boy! A published author! We are so proud of you!" Ellen said when Timothy arrived at home.

"Yes, we are! We couldn't be more proud of you than we are now! Welcome home, son!" Mathew said, and he hugged Timothy.

"That is a miracle! Who would say that one day, you'll be proud of me because I'm a writer, dad!"

"I've always been proud of you and your brother."

"Okay, if you say so. We won't fight about that."

"You forgot us, Tim! You haven't visited us for a long time," Mathew said.

"That's not true, dad. I was here two months ago."

"Three," his father corrected him.

"Where is Megan?" Ellen asked.

"She couldn't come. She is busy. She's having a concert in Denver or Boston. I can't recall."

At that moment, his parents realized everything. If he cared just a little bit about Megan, he would know where she was. Or maybe, his parents realized everything at the moment they saw him on their doorstep. These days, Timothy was living his dreams. He had the world under his feet, and he could afford to live in New York from his writing. Next year in Hollywood, they will start shooting the movie based on his book, which is still selling well, and his second book will arrive in the bookstores this autumn. But today, when he arrived at home for his parents' anniversary, he was unimaginably sad.

Timothy lied to his parents. Megan didn't have any concerts this weekend, and she wanted to come with him, but he told her that his parents were not having a party for their anniversary, just a small dinner. The truth was that Timothy's parents had organized a huge party. All their neighbours, relatives, and friends were invited. This was a big day in their lives because spending thirty-five years of your life with someone is not a small thing.

"Let me take the suitcase to your old room."

"Thanks, dad!"

"Are you hungry, Tim? There is plenty of food. What can I get you?"

"I'm fine, mum. I'm not hungry. I just need a shower."

"Okay, you take a shower, and I'll make you something to eat. Oh, Tim, we miss you so much," Ellen said, and she hugged him again.

"I miss you too, mum!"

He took a shower, and he left the house without eating, which made his mother very sad. From his parents' home, he went to the beach. Without Valerie's laughter and her presence, the beach was dead. His parents' anniversary made him reflect; he was sure that he and Valerie would grow old together and one day have what his parents had. Like his parents, they will celebrate their thirty-fifth anniversary, surrounded by their children and grandchildren. But since Valerie left him, he wasn't sure that he wanted to grow old with somebody else. He had no plans for the future. After Valerie left him, his life stopped.

He couldn't recall if he had read somewhere or heard from a friend that every woman and every man in their lives have one true love that they will love for the rest of their lives. But most of us will get married to somebody else, somebody we will love dearly, but we will never get over our first true love. In the same way that his brother Brian did. Three years ago, he married a girl he met at a friend's wedding. She is a nurse at the local hospital, and last year they had a baby girl. They named their daughter Lola, which is the middle name of Brian's first love, Carrie, but his wife, Billie, probably doesn't know that fact, and hopefully, she'll never find out.

Timothy spent the entire afternoon sitting in the sand, looking at the horizon and thinking about Valerie. He completely forgot about his parents' party. When Timothy returned home from the beach, it was already dark outside. He arrived in the middle of the party, but his parents didn't say anything, and they weren't angry at him. They couldn't.