Sand Castle: Chapter 7

I would give all I have if this week could last a little longer, and if this week could have eight days, and if the days of this week could have at least twenty-five hours. Last week, when Tom told me that he had one week left of his holiday, a week with him it seemed like an eternity to me, but the days with him are passing like minutes.

"We need to talk about yesterday," Tom said this morning while we were sitting at the table having breakfast.

"No, we don't. Summer is not made for serious conversations. Summers are made for having fun."

"Yesterday, I said something wrong, and I'm truly sorry."

"Tom, you haven't said anything wrong. You were just being honest with me. My reaction was immature, and I reacted like a child. You have nothing to apologize for. It's me who should apologize to you."

"Sometimes, it is better not to be honest and tell everything."

"Maybe you're right. I shouldn't know that you are with me, only because I have brown eyes and brown hair like your ex-girlfriend..."

"You think that every time I look at your eyes, I see her, and when we make love, I think of her? No, Nina, you are so wrong. She has never crossed my mind since I met you. You are nothing like her. You two, you have nothing in common. The day I met you on the beach, you were too far from me, and I couldn't see the color of your eyes from that distance."

"Then why did you pick me from all the beautiful girls on the beach that day?"

"Well, probably because you were the only girl alone on the entire beach. The other girls were with their friends or boyfriends. It's not wise to approach a girl who is with her boyfriend. Some guys are jealous, they're treating their girlfriends like property, and I could get killed. You were alone, I was alone, and I thought we could make each other a company."

"I'm happy because I was alone on the beach that day."

"I was just joking with you. The truth is, I don't know why I chose you. I have no reasonable explanation, but I'm glad I did."

"Me too."

"I'm not sure that I believe in soul mates or love at first sight, but you and I, simply we were meant to be. I'm not giving up on love. If I have loved once, maybe one day I will love again, and I'll find a girl who will truly love me back." Maybe you have already found her, Tom. Maybe the girl sitting opposite of you, holding your hand across the table, is the one for you. You just need to look better, I said to myself.

"Before we go to the beach, I must buy presents for my family and friends. I've sent postcards from Rome and Florence to everyone, but I still need to buy them little souvenirs. And if I don't buy anything good for my little sister, I'll be in big trouble. She'll be waiting for me at the airport."

"Tell me what she likes?"

"Jewelry."

"I don't know her, but I already like her. We could be best friends. If she likes jewelry, then we have a lot in common, and you have an expert to help you buy the right thing for her."

"Are you serious? You'll help me buy a present for my sister?"

"Of course I will."

"I'm looking for something with a reasonable price."

"Trust me, I know exactly what you're looking for."

On the first day I arrived in Rimini, I think I discovered every jewelry shop in town. I love jewelry, but because I can't afford to buy the things I like, I'm just watching. Thanks to my "hobby", I found a shop where they sell silver, and I hope we will find something beautiful for Nicole. Silver is not too expensive, and I was sure the prices would be acceptable for Tom. On the way to the jewelry shop, we passed by a music shop, and Tom simply couldn't resist getting in.

"Every time I'm walking into a music shop, I'm telling myself, one day they will sell my album here."

"One day, I'm sure your albums will be in all music shops around the world. You deserve it."

Tom began passionately talking about his favorite musical albums and the musicians who inspired him like I haven't learned all about his music idols by now. He's talking about music, like I'm talking about theatre, all the time. Today in the music shop, I bought all the albums Tom recommended to me. He said I must have them in my collection, and there was no reason I shouldn't trust him. Music is his field.

"Tom, this is the jewelry shop I was telling you about," I said when we arrived.

"Nina, I want you to choose a piece of jewelry you like most. Don't look at the prices, just pick something you would like to have."

"If I was buying something for myself, I would go to the shop across the street where they sell real diamonds, and the cheapest piece of jewelry costs hundreds of thousands of dollars," I said, whispering because I didn't want the salesman to hear me.

"Well, that's good to know. One day when I become a millionaire, I'll take you there, but today, you'll have to pick something from here," Tom said with a big disappointment.

"Tom, I'm just joking with you. I like the jewelry here, and if I had money, I would buy the whole shop. Okay, I'll be serious. Let's see! Wow! This bracelet with charms is so beautiful," I said with admiration.

"Is that what you'd like to have?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then we're buying it. Sir, can you please wrap this bracelet? It's for a present," Tom said to the salesman.

"Yes," the salesman said with satisfaction.

"Nina, now please pick one more thing."

"For whom is this present, if I may ask? I'm just asking because it's really helpful if I know the age of the person..."

"It's for my sister."

"She's so lucky. You will buy her two gorgeous pieces of jewelry."

"If you were sixteen, what would you like to have?"

"It's hard to choose. I've already told you, every piece of jewelry is unique and beautiful. I don't know, maybe I would choose this necklace. It would fit perfectly with the bracelet."

"Okay! We'll take this necklace, too. It's also a present," Tom said to the salesman.

"All right! I'll wrap it in a second!"

We wandered from one shop to another for about an hour, until we found the perfect gift for his parents, brother, grandmother, and the closest friends. Before going to the beach, we returned to our room, just to leave the things we bought. I wanted to stay in our room with Tom the whole day, but I couldn't say that aloud, because if I said that, we would stay, and that would be very selfish of me. As he said this morning, sometimes it's better not to be honest and tell the truth.

Tom loves the sea. He loves to swim, and tomorrow is his last day of the holiday. I should leave him to enjoy the things he likes. Plus, spending an afternoon on the beach was not a bad idea at all. I will also enjoy the sun, the sand, the sea, the cocktails, in the company of the young, handsome man who will be with me...

I'm happiest every evening when with Tom we return to our room. I'm happiest when we are watching old black and white movies, when he is singing me his songs, when we are having long conversations on various subjects, and I very often interrupt him in the middle of a sentence with a kiss. He doesn't mind. On the contrary, I think he loves it when I'm kissing him while he's talking. I can't help it, and I can't control myself.

I think I fell in love, deeper and deeper, with every minute I spent with Tom. I love him because he is the most wonderful person I have ever met in my life. I love him for being himself; I love him for always being honest with me, and he has never lied to me that he loves me, as some guys do just to get what they want. I love his plans for the future, even if none of them includes me. I love his personality, and I love him because we can talk for hours. I love his ideas, his big dreams, I love his jokes because no one can make me laugh as he does; I love his songs dedicated to the girl with brown eyes and dark brown hair who broke his heart; I love his passion for life, music, literature, movies, art...

I love him because he has a heart made of gold, and he loves to help others. Every morning he helps our landlady with her bags from the market, and today he has helped an older gentleman cross the street. I love the sparkle in his eyes, his smile, his hugs, his kisses, his flows, his imperfections...

"Nina, I wasn't completely honest with you," Tom said while we were lying in bed tonight after we returned from the beach.

"What do you mean?"

"Last Sunday, when I saw you for the first time, you know when you were building a sand castle on the beach… Well, at that moment, as everything stopped for me, and as the Earth stopped turning around for a second."

"What?"

"I was just staring at my book pretending that I was reading, but the whole time I was looking at you, and I was making a strategy on how to introduce myself. You were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life. All the time I was repeating to myself, "Get up from the chair, you idiot, get up before she leaves, or you'll never see her again", as if there was some invisible force that was pushing me toward you. I needed four hours to find the courage to approach you, and when I did, I started talking nonsense. That is what I do whenever I'm nervous... Nina, I will never be able to forget these days with you."

He said these things; he closed his eyes, and went to sleep. Was that all he had to say, or was there something else left? I knew that he was not sleeping, but he was just pretending to sleep. If he said just one more word, I was ready to tell him everything I had to say to him. I was ready to tell him that I loved him.

"Tom, are you sleeping?" I asked him quietly, but I didn't get an answer.

If I admitted that I love him, would he know how I feel about him and how much I care for him? Are these three words enough to explain everything? If I said, "I love you," would he know how big, how strong, how deep, and how beautiful my love is for him?

This, what I feel for him, is so strong. I have never felt it before, and it scares me. This is inexplicable. He leaves me breathless; he makes my heart beat faster, and because of him, I'm losing the ground under my feet. Next week, when he goes home, I don't know how I'm going to continue to live without him. At the moment he leaves, I'm afraid I'll stop breathing, and my heart will stop beating.

I am only eighteen years old, I'm too young to be sure about some things in life, but as I am sure that the theatre is something I'll always love, somehow I'm also sure that he is the one I'll love for the rest of my life. I believe that human hearts truly love only once in a lifetime, the way my heart loves him.