Sand Castle: Chapter 16

Half an hour ago, my best friend, Paula, called me. She said she'd stop by at my place to tell me all the details about the well-paid acting job she got today. She couldn't speak over the phone, because she was too excited, and she forgot to tell me if she was going to be in a TV series or a movie. This reminded me of the time when we were in college, and we sincerely supported each other, even then, when we were both going to the same auditions, competing for the same part.

These days, we are not seeing each other as often as we want to. Paula is too busy. She has two jobs; she is constantly going to auditions, and occasionally she does theatre plays. But every time I see her, she makes me forget about my problems for a moment.

Today, I'll be alone at home all day. Usually, the housemaid is with me every day, but she had to go to her cousin's wedding in Mexico for three days, and Samuel is on one of his "business trips".

"You will not believe me, what happened to me today!" Paula said at the moment I opened the door before she went inside.

"Hi, Paula!"

"Oh, sorry! Hi!" Paula said, all excited, and we went to the living room. "I'm coming from a business meeting, a sort of. I have a job! An acting job! A paid one!"

"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" I said, and I hugged her.

"Thanks! If you move your ass from the couch and start going to auditions, trust me, you'll find a job too."

In the last year of college, with Paula, we were roommates, and we were telling each other's secrets, but she knows nothing about my current life with Samuel and his "lifestyle". I haven't told anyone, because I feel ashamed.

"Paula, this month I've sent my photographs and CV to over a hundred agents, directors, producers, but no one answered me. You know how hard it is to find your first job in New York as an anonymous actor," I lied.

"You must be more persistent. Last week, Patrick called me. You know Patrick from college, the director," Paula said. "He will work Chekhov's "Three Sisters" on Off-Off-Broadway, and he wants me in his play. We mentioned you in our conversation, and if you want, he can give you a part."

"Oh, I can't now. You know, the wedding..."

I'm always finding a perfect excuse for refusing a job or an invitation to see a theatre play.

"Sorry, I forgot. Then, after the wedding, we must do something together. It will be like in the days when we were in college."

"Okay. So tell me about the job you've got today?" I tried to change the subject.

"I'll be in a music video! Can you believe it?"

"What?" I said, a bit confused.

I couldn't understand all this excitement for a music video. But if I were in Paula's shoes, probably I would be much happier than she was.

"Wait! You must hear the song first. The song will take your breath away. It's going to be a huge hit!" Paula said without telling me the title of the song and the name of the artist who was performing it.

She took a phone from her bag, and she put the song to play. At that moment, the whole room started to spin around, and I couldn't catch a breath. I got paralyzed when I heard a familiar voice. It was Tom's voice. He was singing a song about a girl he loved with all his heart. He met this girl one summer in Italy, and he never stopped loving her, but she broke his heart because she never loved him back.

"Oh, my God, Nina! What's wrong? Are you all right?" Paula asked me, scared.

"Yes."

"You look pale!"

"I'm okay."

"What happened? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Probably my blood sugar dropped. I'm on a new diet. You know, like every other future bride, I want to look perfect on my big day," I said, and I realized that lately, I have become a professional liar.

"Nina, sweetheart, you don't need a diet. You are so skinny, in fact, you are underweight, and that's not good for your health. You're putting your life in danger. Look at you! There is only skin and bones left on you. You need to eat well. Wait, I'll get you a glass of water and something sweet," she said, and she went fast into the kitchen.

Am I the girl from Tom's song? I must be. Was he feeling what I was feeling for him, or was it just a song, and I meant nothing to him?

"Here you go! Drink this juice! It will make you feel better. And please, please, I'm begging you, stop with diets, Nina."

"Thank you! I'm feeling much better now. So please continue about your job. That's why you came today, not for nursing me."

"Last week, Tom's manager called me to tell me that they want me to be in his new video. I'm still wondering how they heard about me, and why they chose me from all the stunning actresses and models in New York. At first, I thought someone was joking with me. Anyway, his manager called me yesterday to tell me about the location of our first meeting. Tom is too busy at the moment, and the studio is far from his home, so we had to meet at a restaurant near his apartment in Manhattan. When I arrived at the restaurant this morning, Tom was there with his manager, his producer, and one other guy from his team. They were all so nice to me and so professional. I have never in my life met someone so down to Earth as Tom."

"You are very lucky," I said while my mind was on Tom.

"Today I've signed the contract, and we're starting with the shooting next month. This song is the first single from Tom's new album, and you know Tom. I mean, you don't know him personally, but you've heard his songs, right?"

"Well..."

"Seriously? Don't tell me you don't know his songs, or that you have never been to his concert..."

I knew him well, and I knew him better than Paula could imagine. I've been to many of his private concerts, as he called them, in our little room in Italy, but I haven't told anyone about us.

"I was only once at his concert, three or four years ago. I don't remember."

"Wait a minute, you don't know his song "Nina"?"

He has a song called "Nina"? My heart started to beat fast again. I must stay calm. At this moment, I couldn't think, and if Paula asks me again what is wrong with me, this time I'll have no answer.

"No," I said.

"Oh, my God! Where do you live? On what planet? He is one of the leading indie-pop stars in the country. All radio stations are playing his songs. That's why I'm so excited. Being in Tom's video could be my big breakthrough!"

"I wish you this video to bring you a lot of new jobs in the future," I said while I was trying to catch my breath.

"Thanks! At his next concert in New York, we'll go together. Oh, my God! He is so hot! He's the sexiest man alive! And he is single!" she said with excitement.

"Isn't he married?" I asked, astonished.

"What? Tom married? No, he's not married!" Paula said, confused.

"I think I've read somewhere that he is married."

"No, he has never been married, and I think he is not seeing anyone at the moment, but I'm not sure. He doesn't talk much about his personal life in his interviews. He is probably seeing someone. It's not possible for a sexy, rich, and famous guy like him to be single. I've seen him in magazines with girls, but he has never officially confirmed that he is in a relationship with any of them."

 

I love Paula and I love it when she comes to my apartment, but today for the first time, I couldn't wait for her to leave. The moment she left, I started to search on the internet about Tom. When I saw his beautiful face on the screen, my heart went wild. He hasn't changed a lot. He looks almost the same as I know him.

I couldn't find anything about his wife and his child. Like they don't exist. This is not possible. He told me in his last email, four years ago, that he was going to marry his pregnant fiancée. Then why couldn't I find any information about his wife and his child? What happened to them? After that email, he wrote me four other emails, but I deleted Tom's emails without reading them first. Maybe in those emails were the answers to my questions. Oh no, what have I done?

From what I could see on the internet, Tom is living his dreams. He is not a huge star, but he is doing great. Tom is doing concerts for charities, and he is donating a lot of money for noble causes. By now, he has released two albums, one with his band and one solo album. His solo album was number one for three weeks on the independent albums chart. The album is called "The Ocean Between Us", and on the album are the songs "Nina", "Room 23", "A Girl on the Beach", "Sand Castle"...

On first listen, I got the impression that all the songs on Tom's album were dedicated to me, and inspired by the week we had together in Italy. A very interesting fact is the fact that last winter he was on a European tour, and exactly on my birthday, he had a concert in Zagreb. This can't be a coincidence. All this was too weird, and all this was too much for me.

It was three in the morning. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't think. I didn't know what to believe anymore. Was I dreaming, or have I completely lost my mind? What if I wasn't just a summer love for him? I'm not a saint, and I would never, ever, interfere in someone's marriage, but what if by some miracle, he is still single?

Today Paula gave me Tom's home address. I mean, she told me in which building he approximately lives, but she couldn't tell me precisely because she didn't know. I must talk to him. There are so many things I need to know. I want to know did he loved me, and if he did, could he love me again? If he loved me just a little, is there still a chance for me, or am I too late? If there is a tiny little chance, I'll fight for us. I must see him tomorrow. I must find out the truth, and I must tell him everything.