Sand Castle: Chapter 21

August 2018

The strange thing about coming home is that everything looks the same. From the taxi window, I watched the streets of the city where I was born. Everything was as I knew it. The buildings, the trees by the road, the monuments, everything. Until today, I didn't know how much I missed and how much I loved my city and my country. But, above all, there are some people in this city who I miss and I love most.

Last week, when I told my parents that I was coming home, they were surprised. We haven't seen each other for four years, and maybe they expected that I'd never come home again. I wish my parents knew the truth about everything that has been happening in my life in the past six years. If I was more open and honest with them, now there would be no need to explain to them why I went to New York, why I'm not working, and why I was engaged to one man, but now I'm coming home with another man.

"Nina, my little Nina, it's really you," my father said, while he was awaiting us in front of the house.

"Hi!" I said, and I gave him a warm hug.

"Oh, my God! Why are you so skinny? Are you ill?" my mother asked me when she saw me.

"No, mum, I'm fine! I'll explain to you everything."

"Let's go inside. You must be tired from the flight," my father said.

"A little. This is Tom, by the way."

"Hello," Tom said politely, as always.

We left our things in the hall, and we went to the living room. I sat next to Tom, and I grabbed his hand. I'll need his support now, more than ever. In front of me was a long conversation with my parents, but I had to tell them the whole truth because they deserved to know everything.

"I'm sorry for all the pain and worries I caused you. I didn't mean it," I started.

Through tears, I told them the whole story of my life in the past six years, from the day I met Tom on the beach, until today. I talked for hours, but I wasn't sure that my parents believed in my story. It's good that I had Tom with me because he found a way to help me. From his backpack, he took a dozen of our photographs from Italy and the copies of the emails we were exchanging, and he showed them to my parents. Now definitely, my parents believed in every word I said.

"All the time, I was telling you that something happened in Italy, and you didn't listen. After she came back home from Italy, she wasn't our little Nina anymore," my father said to my mother.

"Nina, why you have never told us about any of this?" my mother asked me.

"I didn't know how to tell you. You know me. You know that before Tom, I had only one love in my life, and I knew nothing about this new kind of love for me. I knew nothing about boys and relationships. I was afraid to tell you because you would think I'm crazy and you would find a way to stop me from going to New York. It's crazy to go to another continent just because you are in love with a boy and you're not sure that he loves you, or that he could ever love you. But I don't regret anything I went through. I don't regret all the suffering I survived because if I didn't, today I wouldn't be happy with Tom. The past few months have been the happiest months of my life. I love, and I know that I am loved."

"If you told us what troubled you, maybe we could help you. We are older, and we have more life experience than you. If you told us that you wanted to go to New York for a boy, we would never stop you. On the contrary, we would encourage you to do it," my mother said.

"I thought you could never understand."

"What made you think that we couldn't understand? You never thought that once we were in love like you are now?" my father asked me.

"Something was stopping me from telling you. I wish I were more like Tom. He is telling everything to his family. When Tom returned home from his holiday, the same day, he told his family about me and what happened in Italy."

"But that didn't help much. My parents, and my older brother, repeated to me every day to tell you that I love you before it gets too late, but I was an idiot, and I didn't listen," Tom said.

"Your family gave you wise advice, Tom. If we knew, we would say the same to Nina," my father said, and he put his hand on Tom's shoulder.

"After you returned from Italy, we thought about all the possible reasons for your strange behavior, but it never crossed our minds that you were simply in love," my mother said.

"It wasn't simple at all, mum."

"Relationships and love are never simple. Do you think that your mother and I have a simple story?"

"I don't know. You have never told me how you met."

"When I met your mother, I was a professor. I was teaching literature at college, and I fell in love with her on the first day I saw her in my classroom. She was my student; she was nineteen, and I was seventeen years older than she was. At that time, I was married, and I had a twelve-year-old daughter, your sister Mia. When people found out about our relationship, I had no other choice but to leave my job and end my academic career. My fellow professors, who were sleeping with their students, promising them better grades, were calling me with awful names. I truly loved your mother, and I left my family to marry her. Your grandparents have never accepted me, and they tried everything to separate us. They hated me, and they were accusing me of seducing your mother and ruining her life. Your mother was an excellent student and an incredible writer, and she gave up on everything for me. It was impossible for her to continue with her education because her classmates and professors were looking at her as someone who had broken someone's family. It wasn't her fault, and it wasn't mine either. We simply fell in love, and we couldn't fight against our feelings. Our love was stronger than anything else. We don't regret anything, but the only thing I regret is that my other daughter grew up without a father. It's easy to manipulate a twelve-year-old child. Her mother filled her head with stories that I don't love her, and I don't need her anymore because I have a new daughter to love. I have never abandoned my daughter. When two people are divorcing, that's between them, but almost every time it's the children who are paying the highest price. I love Mia as much as I love you, and I think of her every moment of the day."

My father went fast to the window, wanting to hide from us the tears in his eyes.

"I didn't give up on my dreams. I only found something better, something that made my life complete," my mother said. "My little family became my whole life and my whole world."

 

"Why you have never told me about this?" I asked my parents.

"Probably for the same reason you haven't told us about Tom. We thought that you were too young to understand," my mother briefly explained it to me.

"You see, Nina, every couple has its own story. Maybe some stories are simple like in the movies or the romantic novels, but some are not," my father said, and he returned to us.

"Mom, I'm truly sorry because I broke your heart when I sold the grandparents' property, but if I had a chance to turn back time, I would still do the same."

"I'm glad because you followed your heart, Nina. Your heart showed you the right way. If we knew that the reason you needed the money was love, we would sell this house too, my shop, and we would take a loan from the bank. Your happiness means everything to us."

"You were so mad at me because I sold the grandparents' property that you didn't come to the airport to say goodbye to me when I was leaving..."

"I didn't come to the airport not because I was mad at you, but because I was mad at myself. Before you went to New York, instead of being happy, you spent the last month locked in your room, and you cried without stopping. I was feeling horrible because you didn't want to tell me what troubles you. You have never before mentioned that you want to go somewhere else, and suddenly, you've become obsessed with the idea of going to New York. We couldn't understand why. I was feeling that I had failed you and that I was the worst mother in the whole world because you didn't trust me..."

"No, that's not true! You're the best mum in the whole world. The problem is that I'm a horrible daughter."

"You are a daughter I could only wish for," she said, and she took me in her embrace.

"We forgot that you are coming from a long way, and we forgot to offer you something to eat and drink. Please forgive us for being horrible hosts. Are you hungry?" my father asked us.

"We are starving," Tom said.

In the following days, the relationship with my parents became better than I could ever imagine. We solved all our misunderstandings, and too late, I've realized that my whole life, my parents have been my best friends to whom I can tell everything. Now I know that they will always accept me the way I am, and they will always unconditionally love me, no matter what I do.

In the past three months, Tom showed me all his favorite places in New York, and now it was my turn to show him my favorite places in Zagreb. I took him to Lake Jarun, to the Dolac market, and every day we walked in the parks, where I used to walk alone. We've visited the Zagreb eye, we visited some of the many museums in the city, and we visited the place where he had a concert last winter. But, with most pleasure, I showed him the theatres where I've spent a big part of my life…

While we were passing by the Croatian National Theatre, I accidentally ran into Lara, an old "friend" from college. I tried to avoid her, but I couldn't.

"Nina, is that you? What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

"I'm visiting my parents and..."

"Oh, my God! It's really you! When I saw you from a distance, I thought it was you, but then I said to myself, "No, it can't be, it's not him. What would a star like him be doing in my country?" By the way, I was at your concert in Zagreb last year. It was an amazing show! I'm a big fan!" Lara said when she recognized Tom.

"Thank you. And in case you are still wondering what I'm doing in your beautiful country, I'll tell you that I'm on holiday with my girlfriend," Tom said.

"And where is your girlfriend? Did you leave her in your hotel room?" Lara asked with curiosity.

"No, she's standing next to me," Tom answered proudly.

"Who? Nina?" Lara rolled her eyes, and she didn't know what to say. "But the entire city knows that Nina is a lesbian. She has never had a boyfriend in her life before."

"No, I have always liked boys, only, I found the right guy for me in New York. Tom is the only reason why I went there. You know, while we were in college, I was acting a bit weird, and that was because I couldn't stand the distance between Tom and me," I said.

"Really? With the guys from our class, we had a poll, and we were betting, are you taking drugs, or do you have a mental illness. I've bet on both."

"It's good to know," I said with a bitter smile.

"By the way, I'm coming from a rehearsal. We're working Molliere, and this year I'll be in seven new plays. Poor you, you're not working..."

"What do you mean Nina is not working? Nina works very hard. This year she founded her own film production company, which will give her a chance to have complete control over her career, and she will do only what she wants. Also, this year she will work on Broadway, and you'll see her in my next three videos," Tom saved me.

"Really?" Lara said in a state of shock.

"It seems that Nina is busier than you are."

"Now that you mentioned your videos, Tom, if you'll need in the future a very talented and beautiful actress, you know where you'll find her..."

"Yes, I know! At home, I have the most beautiful and the most talented actress I have ever seen," Tom said, and we left without properly saying goodbye to Lara.

"Why you've told her that I'll be in your new videos when I haven't decided yet?" I asked Tom.

"Better hurry with your decision, or you'll leave me no other choice but to hire her. Have you heard what she said? She wants to be in my video," Tom said, and we started to laugh.

With Tom, we planned to stay in Zagreb for ten days, but he came up with an idea: we should spend the last two days of our vacation somewhere else. I didn't know where we were going, because he didn't want to tell me. He said it was a surprise, and he was sure that I would like it.

"I truly wish we could stay a few more days in Zagreb. I'm already missing Croatia," Tom said to my parents at the airport when we were leaving.

"Come to visit us again soon," my father said.

"We promise! Whenever we have a week off from work, we'll always come here. Next summer, when I finish my tour, I'll be working on new material, and that means I can write songs from anywhere. If Nina is not working, we'll spend the entire summer in Croatia. This city has become my favourite spot on Earth. In the meantime, we want you both to come to visit us in New York," Tom said to my parents.

"All right," my mother said.

"No, I mean it. Please come to see how we live in New York. Come anytime you want. You are always welcome in our home. Our home is your home," Tom said.

"Thank you. Be sure that we will come," my father said.

"We'll be expecting you! Soon, I hope!" Tom said at the end.

There is a saying, "The home is there where the heart is", and I must have an enormous heart because in my heart, there is a place for two homes. One is in New York, where Tom is, and my other home is in Zagreb, where I was born and my family lives. I left my city happy and full of new beautiful memories. The next time, I won't wait for another four years to pass, to come home again.

In the past week, I've realized that when we are leaving our home country or our city and we are going to live somewhere else, we don't actually miss the streets, or the buildings, or the monuments, but we miss the people who we love because the people are always our strongest connection with that place.