Forever: Chapter 13

The reason Valerie left him, for Timothy, faded in importance as the days passed. The only important thing was that she wasn't there with him. When he was thinking about her, he always imagined her happy with that guy who he met in London. He was afraid that she had already erased him from her memory, as if he had never existed and had never been a part of her life. But why couldn't he do the same? If she could be happy without him, why couldn't he be happy without her?

How wrong he was! If only he knew the truth, if only he knew about Valerie's fight for her life in the past six months, and if only he knew that the suffering caused by the disease was nothing compared to how much she suffered from being without him. Right now, she needed him more than ever. She needed his voice to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be all right. Valerie needed him to put his hand on her shoulder and let her know that he'd always stay by her side, no matter what. She needed him to give her strength and be her main reason for continuing to fight for her life.

Before Christmas, Timothy moved into a small studio apartment on the other side of the city. He hoped that the new place and the new surroundings would help him think less about Valerie. But if he moved to another part of the world, she would still follow him like a shadow. He could never run away from her because Valerie was an inseparable part of him.

Every day, he found her pictures among the pages of his books; in the boxes containing his belongings, he discovered dozens of her hair bands and small pieces of jewelry; he could smell her on his shirts because she had the habit of wearing them at home; on the way to work, he ran into her friends...

For the holidays, Valerie's family gathered in London. Every year since they moved to California, they have spent Christmas in England with their relatives. It was sort of a tradition for the whole family to be together and to spend the entire holiday season watching Christmas movies and eating. Only this year, the Christmas spirit has abandoned them. Because of Valerie's disease, nobody was happy, and nobody could fully enjoy the holidays.

"Val! Rebecca and Scarlett have invited me to go with them to Paris this weekend for Christmas shopping. We have agreed, and if your doctor approves, we want you to come with us!"

At the same moment, she said these words, Tessa regretted. Maybe it wasn't wise to mention Paris to her sister. She forgot that last year Valerie was talking for weeks about Paris and the unforgettable moments she had in "the city of lights" with Timothy.

Lately, everyone has been carefully choosing the words they will say in front of Valerie. Everyone was avoiding saying something that could remind her of Timothy. They knew that even though Valerie never mentioned him or said his name aloud since they broke up; she was thinking about him all the time. She has only been suffering in silence for the past six months.

"I don't care what the doctor says. I can't come with you because I'm feeling exhausted. It would be such a shame to come to Paris and spend the entire weekend in a hotel room. There is so much to see and do in Paris. If I come with you, the only thing I'll see will be the view from my hotel room."

"Fine, if you don't go, I won't go! I'm not going without you!"

"Tess, stop acting like a little child, and please be reasonable. In the past months, you've been spending too much time with me, and that makes me feel horrible. I don't want you to miss all the fun and these days of your life because of me. You shouldn't let life pass you by. Life is too short. No matter what happens to me..."

"Val, please stop..."

"No, you let me finish and stop interrupting me in the middle of the sentence. That's rude. Tess, I want you to go to Paris and have a wonderful time. This weekend, I want you to forget about all the problems and me, and I want you to enjoy the holidays. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And I want you to promise me that no matter what happens to me, you'll continue to live your life fully, and you'll enjoy every second that is given to you."

"Val..."

"Promise me, Tess!"

"Okay, I promise," Tessa said, grumpy because her sister didn't leave her much choice.

"Good, don't you ever forget what you have promised me, and don't you ever forget how precious life is. Now, go pack yourself for Paris. You have no idea how beautiful the city is at this time of the year."

"Fine."

"And Tess: actually, there is something I want you to bring me from Paris."

"Just say it; I'll bring you anything you want!"

"I want you to buy me pay and go card for my cell phone. I would like to have a French phone number."

"All right," Tessa said, confused, but she didn't ask her sister why she would like to have a French phone number.

Valerie didn't need Tessa or anybody else to mention Paris to make her start to think about Timothy. Especially these days, when she couldn't stop thinking about how happy she was last year at Christmas. This year, everything was different. She was together again with all the people she had been with the last year, minus one, but that one, he was making all the difference. She was missing Timothy so much that for a moment, she forgot that she had cancer.

Last year, Timothy came with Valerie's family to London for the holidays, and without telling her where they were going, he surprised her with a trip to Paris for New Year's Eve. She'll never forget how lovely Paris was decorated; the view of the city from the Eiffel Tower was breathtaking; the taste of the macarons lingered in her mouth... But she knew well that none of that would make her happy if Timothy wasn't with her.

Paris was exactly as Valerie had described it - magnificent. In the couple of days she had, Tessa visited almost all the places her sister recommended her. Thanks to Valerie, Tessa had the time of her life. If Valerie hadn't convinced her to go, Tessa would have missed all that beauty. To thank her, Tessa bought a beautiful, red silk dress for Valerie, which cost her three salaries, but she didn't regret it. On the contrary, that made her utterly happy.

"Do you like it?" Tessa asked excitedly, at the moment she gave her sister the dress she bought for her in Paris.

"Do I like it? Tess, I love it! This dress must have cost you a fortune!"

"I will never make it up to you, for all the dresses and clothes you borrowed me, and I ruined them."

"Where will I wear a dress like this? At chemotherapy?"

"Hey, don't worry! One day, there will be an occasion."

"I have nothing to give you in return."

"You just get healthy soon, Val, and that will be the best present you can give me."

The whole world was excitedly awaiting the arrival of the New Year. Everyone had big dreams, big wishes, big plans, big hopes that the new one would be better than the previous one, but Valerie's family had only one wish: for Valerie to survive the cancer.

A few minutes after midnight, Valerie left the living room, where she was celebrating with her family and relatives, and she went to her room. Philip followed her because he was worried about her. The entire evening, Valerie was acting distracted and nervous.

"Val, is everything all right," Philip asked her.

"Yes dad, everything is fine! I just need to make a few calls to my friends from the support group. Go back to the party; I'll be right back."

Valerie was feeling bad because she had lied to her father. She left the room to make a phone call, but not to someone from her support group. When Valerie heard Rebecca talking to Tessa about going to Paris, a crazy idea came to her mind. If she couldn't see Timothy, she wished to at least hear his voice over the phone, but she couldn't call him from a number in England, because he would know that it was her. The only solution was to call him from another country's number, and her sister's visit to Paris came at the perfect moment. That is why she asked Tessa to buy her pay and go card from France—to call Timothy.

While she was dialing Timothy's phone number, her hands were shaking, and her heart began to beat like crazy. At that moment, she began to be afraid. What if, in the meantime, Timothy changed his number, or what if an unknown voice answers his phone, perhaps a female's voice?

"Hello?" Timothy said, but no one answered.

All he heard on the other end of the line was silence, and it was as if time had stopped. As if the seconds were lasting for ages. For some reason, at that moment, he thought about Valerie, and he wished to be her. Tonight, his simple wish was fulfilled, only he didn't know that.

"Hello?... Who is this?..." Timothy said, but still, no one was answering.

When Timothy hung up, Valerie put her phone close to her heart, and two tears rolled down her face. It was beautiful to hear his voice again, but it would be so much better if she could talk to him like in the old good times. At the moment he answered the phone, from habit, she opened her mouth, and she almost said "Hi" to him, as she was doing every time she called him.

Timothy immediately began to search on the internet for the country from which he received the strange call. When he found out that the call was coming from France, he thought it was probably some drunk French guy who was celebrating all night with his friends, and when he heard an unknown voice, he got confused, and he didn't know what to say.

The whole world, but Timothy, celebrated tonight. When Valerie called him, he was alone in his apartment. He was watching her pictures and videos, thinking about the times when they were together. He lied to his friends that he'd spend New Year's Eve with his parents, and to his parents, he lied that he'd go to a party with his friends.

Timothy needed a little peace. He was so tired of everyone feeling sorry for him, as if they knew anything about his pain. Timothy had nothing to celebrate tonight. The year that was slowly leaving was the worst year of his life, and without Valerie, he didn't have much hope that something would change for the better in the upcoming year.